Belva Emily Patterson (Orr)

My dear, sweet Grandma Patterson passed away this morning after a hard-fought battle with cancer and other pains and illnesses. It still seems unreal to me. She was such a strong lady.

I wanted to write a few of my memories of her. She was so organized and always had things planned out so well. She never forgot a birthday or special occasion. I could always tell it was her handwriting on the cards and letters she would send. Whenever we would have a family reunion or get-together, she would have things scheduled to the minute and everyone had their various assignments. She kept an immaculate house. Everything was where it should be and labelled accordingly.

She was such a comfort to me when I was at BYU. It was my first real time away from home and I struggled. She was always there. She didn't judge me when I came over on a Friday night to do laundry and watch MASH with them because all my roommates were out on dates and I couldn't stand to stay home. She cooked me so many hearty meals when I just couldn't eat at the cafeteria any more. I probably did more loads of laundry at her house than she did. Her home was always a safe place for me. When I first had ulcerative colitis, she took care of me. She put up with my grumpiness and my sickness and made me feel that I would be okay. She took me to all my doctor appointments and served me food and turned on movies for me. I look back on that time and know I couldn't have done it without her.

We got to go to so many cultural and artistic events together while I was at school - Grandpa often gave up his ticket so that Grandma and I could go together. What fun memories of seeing Anne of Green Gables and The Christmas Carol together at the Hale theatre and of her taking me shopping for a fancy dress for my first big dance at BYU, or her taking me grocery shopping or sending food home with me or letting me invite my friends over or celebrating all the Canadian holidays during the school year, or how she always had such fun things to play with in her backyard. She even let Ryan stay at her house when he came down to Utah to propose to me and put up with our lovey doviness.

Grandma was often to be found in the background, preparing meals, cleaning up, making arrangments/schedules/reservations - all so that we could all enjoy ourselves without having to worry about all the details. She always got tickets to the best shows and took pains to give us all the culture we needed. She set such a quiet but powerful example of goodness. She never complained or talked badly of others. I can't ever remember her saying an unkind word - even when she watched over us as little children while my parents were away. She commanded respect, but in such a kind way.

It was so great to have Grandma and Grandpa living in Edmonton again while they were at the temple. It was so nice to have them at all our family functions and to have them here for the birth of our girls. I will cherish those times.

Even though I knew her for a long time, I wish I had known her better. I wonder sometimes how she felt when she was a young mother with 4 sons and my grandpa probably wasn't home a lot. I wonder how she felt when she fell in love with grandpa and he wasn't a member of the church yet. One thing I do know was that she knew that we loved her. I know that she is not in pain anymore. I know that I will miss her and that this will hit me harder as the days go on, but I know that I will see her again and that she is enjoying happy reunions right now.

Title: Better than a journal (a.k.a. Don't get mad at me for how long this post is)

Even though it's been over a month since my last blog about our daily activities, I've been doing better at this blog/journal than I have at any other journal attempt...so please bear with me as I catalogue our comings and goings for my own remembrance.

I just love this picture so I'm putting it first. The girls are always so happy to see Daddy when he gets home from work, or when they wake up in the morning...any time really.

I just really love this picture of Claire. :)

Here we are at the Sharon and Bram (no Lois - she doesn't tour anymore) concert out at Spruce Grove Horizon Stage. It was such a great concert and brought back so many memories for Ryan and I when we were kids. Sharon and Bram are a lot older but they still know how to put on a great show and they even took our request for "Incy Weency Spider!"

The concert was right through nap time so Claire managed to hang on until the end of the concert before going to sleep. The music was so calming and the lights were dimmed so I'm glad she made it all the way through!

Mom decided it would be fun to cut Maddie's hair out on the deck instead of inside. Madeline is getting better at holding still and at least she doesn't cry anymore during the cut.
I love the look on her face in this picture!

She also figured out how to use the spray bottle so we all got a taste of it!

Dolly got some special treatment as Maddie buckled her in for a swing on the deck with Claire.

I think Claire could swing all day if she didn't have to eat and sleep.

Here are some pictures from Claire's birthday party. We had everyone come out to the pool in Leduc for snacks and swimming. It was great fun!

Family pic!

Claire wasn't quite sure about the cupcakes. She gave it a few good tastes and that was all she needed. I think she just wanted to get into the pool!

Our good friends and family watched Claire open up her presents.

She got so many thoughtful gifts.

Here is Claire enjoying the water. It was a pretty loud day at the pool so she didn't last as long as Maddie did, but still had lots of fun.

Claire is getting better and better each week at riding. It's so exciting to see the improvements from week to week because usually it takes a lot longer for us to see her advancing with things. I think the switch to a new horse the past three weeks has made a big difference because Babe walks slower so Claire doesn't have to compensate for the movement as quickly.
Here are some pics on "Babe."

We couldn't do it without Linda and Janelle's help.

Here's Maddie on that weird weather day where it looked like hail, but fell like snow.
Very strange.

Here's Claire's first trip outside on the horse. She did quite well. They took lots of stops to just sit on the horses and look around outside. Claire has started to explore and reach for the mane more so that is great. Madeline and I walked around and met a lot of other horses and discovered a lot of horse poop and picked dandelions (a.k.a. beautiful flowers).
At least that's what Madeline got out of it!
The next week, Auntie Mel came along to see Claire ride and taught Madeline the art of crab grass whistling and dandelion accessories.
Ryan's school (Campbelltown Elementary School in Sherwood Park) attempted to break the Guinness world record for biggest game of tag so we came out to the school to be a part of it. They had us all sign our names on an official sheet and had witnesses and a marked area of the school grounds to compete in. It was lots of fun and neat to see Ryan in his element at school.

Ryan made a new purchase this month. Besides all the headaches of financing, insurance, licensing, etc. it's been fun. He loves it and has lots of friends who ride bikes and scooters so they've all gone out many times to ride. He got his license this week so now he can ride the bike to school and "wow" all his students. I've even gone on for a ride. It's pretty darn fun.

Janelle, our GRIT worker who comes each day to work with Claire, is a miracle worker. I cannot figure out how she does it but anytime Madeline and I go out and leave her and Claire at home, I come back and Claire has a great hairstyle, whether it be braids or ponytails or some other concoction. I've never seen this feat being accomplished so I'm still not sure how it actually happens, but she does it!

We meet our new GRIT worker, Lisa, next week. She will be with us next year, taking Claire to preschool three times a week. I have the summertime to wean Claire off that afternoon nap that she still enjoys and move her bedtime earlier. Hopefully it will work!

We found a fun park near our home that has a section that's wheelchair accessible. So this is Claire's first time at the park in her chair. She's just getting too big to carry onto the equipment very often, so this was great. We plan to visit this park a lot during the summer months.

It was hard to even get a picture of Madeline because she was moving so fast to the next thing she wanted to do at the park. I'm glad that she can enjoy herself so much!

It was definitely a month for concerts! Here we are at the Dorothy the Dinosaur concert at the Myer Horowitz theatre. The night before Madeline and I attended Zara's dance recital at the very same theatre and had a blast. Sorry, we didn't bring our camera!

This was where our seats were supposed to be, but a nice family came up to us and offered us some seats in the front row that weren't being used, so Maddie and Claire sat on our laps and we took in the action from the very front row instead of the back corner. It was fun!

The Fairy Dancers in mid-air with Wags the Dog behind them.

The star of the show!

The best part was that after, Jesse, Sarah, Jacob, Anna and Orrin came over and we had lots of fun hanging out. They always give us the best hand-me-down clothes and we rocked the night away with Rockband.

Here I am with my Mother's Day loot. Ryan let me sleep in, made me a coupon book, had the girls create a card for me and did a scavenger hunt with clues for me to find my gifts (yes I am holding "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" - I can't wait to read it). It was very nice. Claire sang with the Primary during sacrament meeting and we had a fun get-together at Stephanie's new fancy condo. It was a great day!

We had a special treat this week to go the Valley Zoo with a group of kids from the CNIB. It was great fun. We got to touch an armadillo, lots of feathers and pelts of animals, a bunny, a chicken, a snake and a skunk (it had been de-skunked though, don't worry).
I was on my own for the day (Ryan was taking his motorcycle license test and doing all the paperwork) so my attempts at photos were limited. Here's one of the girls together:

Here's how Maddie posed when I told her to smile:

Claire enjoyed touching all the animals and was very gentle. Here's Twyla the armadillo:

Other events that do not correspond with pictures are:

Madeline's continued success at Gymboree. She's so adventurous but I can't get her to sit still for the circle time. She just wants to continue playing on the cool structures they build. She's also had some fun playdates with our neighbour Abby. They are both teaching each other how to share and be nice. :)

Our (almost) weekly date nights. We try to use our Airmiles we accumulate to get gift certificates for nights out. Thus we eat out at the Keg pretty regularly and go to movies too. I LOVE IT! The last few times we've even ordered the same food but it's delectable every time. Why fix what ain't broke?

Stephanie (my sister) moved out into a condo on the south side with a couple of friends. We were sad to see her go but excited for her new adventure.

Stephanie (my sister-in-law) celebrated her birthday and we had a fun family party at their place with yummy food and met her twin sister Shauna's new baby Thomas. Madeline talks about baby Thomas every day now.

I attended Time Out for Women in Edmonton with Mom, Val, Steph, Mel and Nat. It was nice to spend a weekend together and to hear the inspirational messages (even though lunch and some tasteless comments threatened the spirituality of the day! - see my previous two blog entries)

We ate a lovely BBQ at the Jensen's, and I got a couple of girls nights out - watching Slumdog Millionaire (finally) at Carmen's place and attending Natalie Layton's bridal shower out in Wetaskiwin.

Claire got fitted for some new AFOs in leopard print and has been struggling with seizures again. It's almost every night that we've seen something strange over the past week but we're raising the medication slowly and hopefully next week, at the full dosage, we won't see anything anymore.

Well that's the month (plus) in a nutshell, besides all the library classes, Rhymes and Songs days, trips to the park, grocery shopping, speech pathologist/OT/PT visits, laundry, dishes, cleaning, sand box/water box on the deck, stories, movies, games, messes, cooking, baking, church callings, trying video on demand for the first time, apartment fiascos and plumbing leaks, sleeping, etc.

The brownie

I was feeling guilty about the negativity of my last post. I guess it's just a reminder that the church is true...but sometimes the people can drive you crazy! Here are some of my favourite quotes/ideas from the weekend that really made me think:

Perfection is a gift of the Spirit – Sheri Dew

You will be judged by your fruits, but give your fruits time to ripen – Emily Watts

Music affects atmosphere,
Atmosphere affects environment
Environment affects behaviour – Jenny Jordan Frogley

Heavenly Father loves my children as much as I do. – Emily Watts

If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly rather than not at all. – Wendy Ulrich

Remember that the first four minutes of greeting (in the morning, after work, etc.) have a lasting effect on your day. Also remember the first four seconds of a response can change the outcome of a conversation drastically. – Wendy Watson Nelson

With thoughtless and impatient hands
We tangle up the plans
The Lord hath wrought.

And when we cry in pain, He says,
“Be patient, dear, while I untie the knots.” – Emily Freeman

Mary Ellen Edmunds: (she is so funny)
On looking at Goliath a pessimist said, “He’s so huge, I can’t possibly win.”
An optimist said, “He’s so huge, I can’t possibly miss.”

An optimistic lady woke up one morning and looked in the mirror. She discovered that she only had three hairs left on her head. She said, “I think I’ll wear my hair in a braid today.”
The next day she woke up and she only had two hairs on her head. She said, “I think I’ll part my hair down the middle today.”
The next day she woke up and only had one hair left on her head. She said, “I think I’ll wear my hair in a ponytail today.”
Finally she woke up and had no hairs left on her head. She said, “Yay! I don’t have to fix my hair today!”

Go to sleep in peace – God is awake. - M.E.E.

Poop in a brownie

Why is it that one little bad thing can ruin a perfectly lovely day? Why do I always focus more on the negative comments than the positive ones?

We had a lovely weekend at Time Out for Women. It was great to be out with my sisters, mom and friends and to really leave behind the worries of home. Things seem to be going well for me and I was feeling happy. I have lost a little bit of weight and I was feeling good about myself - I had actually had time to do my hair Saturday morning because I got to get up early and get ready while everyone was sleeping and then say Sayonara! The positive experiences and uplifting messages of the speakers and musical presenters went flying out the window for me because of two things:

Lunchtime. We bought tickets for a lunch buffet right in the hotel because we thought it would be easier not to travel to get lunch so we could have more time to relax and converse together. After standing in a line to get out of the trade centre, a line to get into the dinner theatre area, and a line to get the food, we realized that there was no where to sit. People had plonked their purses and coats down on all the seats before lining up and we couldn't find ONE SEAT that didn't have something draped over it. They had announced at the beginning that they had sold out the theatre area but people weren't taking that into consideration. In booths where there were six spots, only three people (or less) were sitting but they said the booth was full. We wandered around for a good 15 minutes, practically having to beg people to let us sit at their tables. Instead of being able to sit together and enjoy a leisurely lunch with good conversation, we ended up having to sit separated at three different tables! I just was so frustrated because here we were, at a women's conference extolling the virtues of womanhood and sisterhood, and no one could be bothered to look out for anyone but their own group. As you can tell, I am still feeling bitter about it.

A rude comment. Do you guys know people who seem to zero in on the things that you are most self conscious about and then voice their opinions on them? Like, for example, you had a huge zit you're trying to cover up and you think you did an okay job, but you're still very conscious of it. This type of person would walk right up to you, point to your nose and say, "Man that is a HUGE zit! Maybe you need to see a dermatologist or something." I met an old acquaintance like that at Time Out for Women who walked right up to me, commented on something that I am very self-conscious about and made me feel horrible. Yes, I got the dreaded "Oh, when are you expecting?" comment. All my confidence at feeling better about myself was utterly deflated. Why do I feel like I deserve it? I guess I feel that's what I get for being an overweight, young-ish, married woman with two kids who are two years apart and my youngest is two now and wearing a looser fit shirt??? I guess some people just say what they're thinking....without thinking.

So why did I let those thing ruin the latter half of my Time Out for Women experience? Those other people probably didn't let my discomfort ruin their day, right? I remember a lesson back in Young Women's class about how trying to justify watching a movie with only a few bad parts was trying to eat a brownie with a "little bit" of poop in it. Maybe that's what this is. A little poop in a brownie.