Poop in a brownie

Why is it that one little bad thing can ruin a perfectly lovely day? Why do I always focus more on the negative comments than the positive ones?

We had a lovely weekend at Time Out for Women. It was great to be out with my sisters, mom and friends and to really leave behind the worries of home. Things seem to be going well for me and I was feeling happy. I have lost a little bit of weight and I was feeling good about myself - I had actually had time to do my hair Saturday morning because I got to get up early and get ready while everyone was sleeping and then say Sayonara! The positive experiences and uplifting messages of the speakers and musical presenters went flying out the window for me because of two things:

Lunchtime. We bought tickets for a lunch buffet right in the hotel because we thought it would be easier not to travel to get lunch so we could have more time to relax and converse together. After standing in a line to get out of the trade centre, a line to get into the dinner theatre area, and a line to get the food, we realized that there was no where to sit. People had plonked their purses and coats down on all the seats before lining up and we couldn't find ONE SEAT that didn't have something draped over it. They had announced at the beginning that they had sold out the theatre area but people weren't taking that into consideration. In booths where there were six spots, only three people (or less) were sitting but they said the booth was full. We wandered around for a good 15 minutes, practically having to beg people to let us sit at their tables. Instead of being able to sit together and enjoy a leisurely lunch with good conversation, we ended up having to sit separated at three different tables! I just was so frustrated because here we were, at a women's conference extolling the virtues of womanhood and sisterhood, and no one could be bothered to look out for anyone but their own group. As you can tell, I am still feeling bitter about it.

A rude comment. Do you guys know people who seem to zero in on the things that you are most self conscious about and then voice their opinions on them? Like, for example, you had a huge zit you're trying to cover up and you think you did an okay job, but you're still very conscious of it. This type of person would walk right up to you, point to your nose and say, "Man that is a HUGE zit! Maybe you need to see a dermatologist or something." I met an old acquaintance like that at Time Out for Women who walked right up to me, commented on something that I am very self-conscious about and made me feel horrible. Yes, I got the dreaded "Oh, when are you expecting?" comment. All my confidence at feeling better about myself was utterly deflated. Why do I feel like I deserve it? I guess I feel that's what I get for being an overweight, young-ish, married woman with two kids who are two years apart and my youngest is two now and wearing a looser fit shirt??? I guess some people just say what they're thinking....without thinking.

So why did I let those thing ruin the latter half of my Time Out for Women experience? Those other people probably didn't let my discomfort ruin their day, right? I remember a lesson back in Young Women's class about how trying to justify watching a movie with only a few bad parts was trying to eat a brownie with a "little bit" of poop in it. Maybe that's what this is. A little poop in a brownie.

This is what you get when you don't blog for 3 weeks

For all those interested, keep reading, but there will be a lot of information and a lot of pictures because I have a lot to cover. Since I'm not even sure who reads this blog, I am viewing it as a way I can keep myself motivated for journaling our lives. So, read on, at your own peril.


I am constantly amazed at what Madeline will do in her room when she has quiet time or nap time. If she isn't tired, she spends most of her time opening every drawer, unpacking every shelf and emptying every container. Lately she has also been moving her bed to the middle of her room. Her newest "thing" is taking off all her clothes. Most mornings we go to get her and she is naked. It's pretty funny.


We had a really good Spring break. We spent some time in Wetaskiwin and went swimming, we went to West Ed with Uncle Greg and took in all the fun rides. We broke out the bikes and the bike trailer. The girls fit so much better in it this year since Maddie is bigger and Claire can hold herself up so much better. We spent a lot of time having fun together and just being at home. It was very nice to catch up on projects and have that time to ourselves. Ryan and I even had a movie date in the middle of the day! We went to see Monsters vs. Aliens IMAX and it was my first 3D movie experience. It was great. Madeline started her Gymboree class and she loves it. It is a perfect fit for her. Ryan also got to spend the day at the Patrick farm playing paintball and quadding. Here are some pictures from the week:

Both the girls just love the Merry-go-round at West Ed

Here is Daddy & Maddie on the train.

Here is Mommy and Claire on the train.
Luckily Uncle Greg came with us so we could all go on a ride together
without fearing that our stuff would be stolen.

It's so much easier with an extra set of hands!
Here is our little vampire baby.
Our first bike ride of the year! They're pretty cozy in there, but it works great.
I caught this moment when none of them knew I had the camera.
Those are some of my favourite kind of pictures.

Ryan was giving Claire raspberries on her cheek and she was laughing up a storm.
I love her laugh - it is so contagious and natural.

I caught this sunset after an early evening rain.

It really made our gloomy alley-way look nice for a change so I had to document it!

Claire started her Little Bits Therapeutic horseback riding class last week. It was a very stressful experience. I was worried that she wouldn't be able to sit up on the horse and I was so focused on that worry, it didn't even cross my mind to be worried about all the gear she had to wear. We tried to put the helmet on her and she freaked out. We couldn't get her to stay still or stop crying so we were trying all different sizes of helmets, adjusting the straps, putting padding in and she kept getting more and more upset.

I was just so crushed because I thought this would be so good for her and I felt like it was going to be over before it had even started. Luckily Janelle was there because she was so patient. Luckily Linda was there because she suggested breaking the rules and sitting Claire up on the horse and then trying the helmet on Claire as the horse walked. It worked better than I had hoped. I was surprised at how the movement of the horse calmed Claire - I thought it might make her even more uncomfortable because it was such a new experience. The helmet still kept sliding down over her eyes, but they walked around the arena about 4 times before Claire was done. It was enough to give me hope. So now we have another week to get her used to wearing a helmet (and a soft-collar neck brace, as recommended by their physical therapist), before the next time we ride. Wish us luck!

The experience reminded me that I overreact too easily. Especially when it comes to my expectations of things. I lose my cool so easily sometimes. I was bawling in that Little Bits room when Claire was crying so hard, when she threw up because she was so upset. I had pinned so many expectations on this experience and it felt like it was all crashing down around me. I was ready to walk out of there and not come back. Often I'm prepared to deal with the big issues, but when sometimes little crops up, it sets me over the edge. Especially when it comes to Claire. Sometimes I feel like we already have so many things to overcome, why do we have to deal with this TOO???

I'm so grateful for calmer, more rational people around me who are willing to look at things in a different light before they freak out. I always look back on things and think, "Why did I get so upset? It all turned out just fine." I have to remember these feelings in the moment of crisis! I guess this is one thing that kids are teaching me - you can plan and plan and plan, but things can always change in the blink of an eye. Ryan is so much better at this than me, he'll always tell me that everything is going to be alright - maybe I should start believing him more often!

Speaking of crisis....just kidding. Ryan wants to buy...is going to buy...a motorcycle. I blame Trevor for all this because he had so many bikes and Ryan's gone out riding a few times and has caught the bug. I guess I can't put it off any longer. :)

We also had some good news on the home buying front...it is actually going to happen. I had thought that because I wasn't working outside the home that we wouldn't be able to afford much but after talking to a couple of different banks, we are feeling very encouraged. All we need to do is save a little bit longer and then we'll be ready to make the move. It is like a little glimmer of hope off in the distance, but I can see it now!

On a personal note, I need to lose weight. I keep recommitting and then things knock me off my feet like sickness or busyness, etc. I've been at the same weight for awhile now but I need to look better for Kathy's wedding, which is a mere 4 months away. I'm committed now to doing all I can so that I won't be the fat bridesmaid...well I still might be...but I'll try! I am exercising everyday, whether it is Curves or step class at the Kinsmen or bike riding or Jillian's 30 Day Shred at home. I am not going to eat anything after 7pm, no matter what! Instead of drinking juice or other things, I will drink water instead. I've gone to Sparkpeople and figured out a calorie and intake plan and I'm going to do it! (Well, I'm hoping that if I say it out loud and write it on my blog that maybe the shame of not meeting my pronounced goal will push me harder to succeed!) Anyone have any weight loss tips that have worked for them?

Well, after a week + 1 day Spring break, Ryan went back to school for 4 days and then we had a 4 day Easter weekend. I love the Elk Island School District. The people in our ward who teach for Edmonton Public always tease Ryan about how many extra holidays he gets, but I suspect it may be with a hint of jealousy. :)

We had a great Easter weekend. We got lots of stuff done around the house and the apartment building and had a nice visit in Wetaskiwin on Easter Sunday. We spent Easter Monday here - Ryan did so much work and so many errands, I'm sure he'll be glad to be back at school where I can't bug him as much. :)

Here are some pictures from Easter Sunday in Wetaskiwin.

Our Easter bunny comes on Easter Monday so the girls got their goodies this morning.

Maddie did have chocolate for breakfast but we only got her two
Kinder surprise chocolates, so don't judge too harshly.

We decorated Easter eggs after supper. I pre-dyed them because I could
imagine the cups of dye being spilt everywhere and it would be a bad scene.
So we just put stickers on the coloured eggs.
All Madeline wanted to do was smash the eggs because
she was convinced there was chocolate inside.
She was not impressed to find a boring old regular egg inside.

I hope everyone had a great Easter!

Just chalk it up to experience

I like the old saying: "It never rains but it pours." I believe that it is true sometimes. We'll be toodling along (yes...toodling along) minding our own business when all of a sudden our apartment building floods or we have an infestation of cockroaches on the top floor or everyone gets sick, etc. Things seem to happen in groups, especially when they are bad things.

Today wasn't super bad but it got me a little riled up when:

Funding for an expensive (but fun) program we have lined up for Claire got cancelled. Now we have to come up with $350 out of thin air or not enroll her.

A medical consultation appointment we've been waiting 1 year for just got cancelled and moved to an indeterminate date in April. We rescheduled our physio and OT appointments this month so they could accompany us to this special appointment so now we probably won't get either of them to visit us this month - so it kind of feels like we're flushing a month's work of PT and OT goals for Claire down the toilet. Thanks Glenrose!!!

Our GRIT programming for March 20 is cancelled due to medical issues with our Developmental Specialist. Of course that happens to be Madeline's birthday, the day when I will have tons of people coming over for supper, the day when my house should be spick and span and I have to whip up an amazing meal but it's also the day that I will be at an AACL Conference until 4:30. I was really counting on the help for my mom and for me.

There was a misunderstanding in our new financial agreement with FSCD so the receipts I submitted for February did not get paid in full and I can't seem to get our worker on the phone to explain what has happened.

An old lady was blocking the drive-thru (or through?) car wash this morning for almost 15 minutes because she wasn't pulled far up enough so the sensor could detect her car and open. I also almost got hit because someone who was supposed to observe a merge felt the need to speed up and then lean on the horn to let me know I was the rude one.

Claire has been on a screaming kick the past few days. She has a very high-pitched, high-volume scream and lately has been blowing my eardrums out. She wants to be chewing on something all the time, but she's so worked up that I can't get her to hold onto her Chewy Tube for more than 1 second and it's not like I can sit beside her and hold it in her mouth 24/7.

And sometimes when all these worries start piling up, all the regular worries of life (like a clean house, doing laundry, money problems, instilling values in your children and teaching them the joys of life, etc.) seem even more daunting.

But luckily, I have a great husband who comes home and comforts me and really makes me feel like everything is fine. We ate a quick (and tasty) dinner and hopped out to the library where Ryan and Maddie looked at books on tape for his daily commute and Claire and I walked outside, enjoying the sunset and the warm weather (we were outside because her screaming was a little much for the other patrons of the library). The rejuvenating feeling of a family outing with no pressure or deadlines (or spending money) helped me to regroup and feel ok again.

On a side note, a little snippet about Claire, the GRIT program and the Hope & Harmony fundraiser was in the newspaper today. Here's a link for it.

Our musical number for the concert went well - although I was the only accompanist who didn't get a spot light put on her and who didn't get her face up on the video screen. I'm not sure whether to be insulted, or relieved. :) Claire's framed fingerpainting auctioned for $125! It was a fun night and it was nice to be surrounded by supportive people. Thanks so much for Natalie and Travis for braving the cold weather to come be with us, and for all the others who sent donations! We love you!

Anyway, Ryan just finished his report cards and now we are going to bed. Late as usual. But better late than never, right?


(WOW - a post with no pictures)

It's like living in New York

Ryan and I were feeling quite happy with the fact that housing prices were coming down. We have had our plan in place for saving up enough for a small down payment and were feeling more optimistic than we had in several years about eventually owning a home. (Our options for homes are limited because we can't have a townhouse/split/bi level because of Claire's wheelchair). I then read in the paper this morning that next year housing prices are supposed to be back to "normal." How disappointing! It feels like we will never be able to get our own home.

My biggest worry is that the girls don't have a private little grassy spot to play in. I feel like we're depriving them of an essential part of childhood. However, I'm trying to reconcile myself with apartment living right now by telling myself "It's like living in New York." There are lots of families living in New York apartments and they survive just fine. They get along fine with playing in public parks and playgrounds. Their children aren't deprived - right? This is how I've been comforting myself but it's not really working.

I am trying to focus on the positive - we have a huge apartment with 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms, a washer, a dishwasher, all the storage rooms in the building are crammed with our stuff, we are close to several parks, the river valley and the library, we can walk to lots of fun summer/winter festivals, if we need things repaired we don't have to pay for it, we can use all the hot water/heat that we want and we're close to lots of good places to eat. It could be a lot worse but sometimes I feel so behind compared to people who have their own home. I wonder how some people can afford it when the median house price is $350 000!

On a more positive note, we had a great Family Day weekend, besides Claire being under the weather. We spent a lot of time doing stuff at home, going for walks, making messes, etc. We went to the Royal Alberta Museum on Monday when it was free admission day and took in the exhibits and a balloon art performance show. It was fun although we almost weren't able to sit in the theatre because parents had filled the empty wheelchair area in the back with their empty strollers and wouldn't move them! I was almost ready to bust some heads, but the girls had fun. We didn't take any pictures during the show since they wouldn't have turned out but here is an example of some animals that the lady makes with balloons:

Madeline had fun on daddy's shoulders while we were viewing the exhibits.
Claire loves the Alberta exhibit with all the animals and landscapes.
I think she also enjoyed all the crowds and hearing people talk and laugh.

I've really been enjoying how the girls interact with each other now. Madeline is always trying to copy Claire. For example, whenever Claire stands in her standing frame, Maddie always wants to have a turn:

They enjoy doing more things together now.

They like having their baths together, reading stories together, colouring together:

Maddie pulled her chair over to Claire's chair and started colouring with her. It makes me so happy to see them enjoying each others' company.

Claire looked so grown-up today and I tried to get a picture but all
she was showing me was the profile shot.

And, filed under the category of "at least our lives are never dull,"
this is what I found in Madeline's room after nap time today:She had systematically taken every piece of clothing out of her dresser drawers and almost all the books out of her bookshelf. She did this very quietly and sneakily. Fun times.

What's eatin' ya?

I love to cook and what I love best is seeing people enjoy what I've made. I try to plan my meals for 2 weeks with new menus and grocery lists. It's fun to find a recipe that becomes a new family favourite. I think it's a very satisfying mothering experience to have your children enjoy something you've made - even if it has to contain chocolate (for Madeline).

That's why it's been really difficult to feed Claire because it's been a battle instead of something to enjoy. She doesn't often show signs of enjoying her food and I have to feed her based on a timeline - how long has it been since she ate last - instead of watching for her hunger cues. From when she stopped breast feeding (8 months) until now we have struggled with feeding her. Dec. 2007 she had a g-tube put in because we would spend at least an hour and a half on each meal and she would barely eat 1/2 cup of pureed food and maybe a 1/4 cup of liquid. She was losing weight and I was losing my mind so we made the decision. Now her nutrition is taken care of by her Pediasure formula, but we still do oral feeding to start off each meal.

I guess why I am writing this post is to vent my feelings. Sometimes I feel really cheated that I don't get to experience "normal" things with Claire. The feeding issue has been a huge one in our lives. You don't realize how much traditions centre around food and the act of eating together until you have a child that doesn't eat in the same way that everyone else.

I am in the process of trying to change my thinking and it's a lot harder to do than I thought. So much of my relationship with Claire has involved my readjusting my expectations and realizing that different lives are good lives - just because she won't have the same experiences as I did as a child doesn't make her experience less important or valuable or worthwhile. These are things I tell myself but sometimes my heart aches when I remember learning to ride a bike or having friends over, or running through the sprinklers, enjoying an ice cream cone or eating watermelon, going skating - simple childhood memories that will be so different for Claire than they were for me.

So back to "eating." I am trying to focus on the experience of eating rather than how successful the actual act is. We try to all eat at the same time now (well except for whoever is feeding Claire) and we all sit together at the table instead of eating in shifts. I need to be more flexible and let eating be messy and exploratory instead of worrying so much about keeping clothes and hair free of food. I try to let Claire experience tastes and textures even though she might not eat any of it. I'm trying to accentuate the positive - at least she can eat orally (some kids have to have surgery and can't have foods orally because of aspiration), at least Claire can eat somethings like yogurt, cream of wheat, mashed potatoes, pureed fruits, etc. I'm grateful that we have a patient OT who works with us a lot on feeding strategies and that no one has given up on her eating orally.

I love that Madeline enjoys her food. She has a serious sweet-tooth (sometimes the first word out of her mouth in the mornings is "chocolate") but it's so fun to give her things that I know she loves and to watch her enjoy it. I find it miraculous that she can sit on her own and eat her own meal without any help from me. It's those little things that I can appreciate because of my experiences with Claire that I might have taken for granted.

So next time you make a meal or give your kids a treat and they gobble it up - I hope that you can appreciate how wonderful that is!

Ahhh the Christmas season!

Claire is so fun!

Madeline loves to play Rock Band - she's tried out the guitar, drums and mic and she rocks them all!

To kick off the Christmas season...both Ryan and I are sick. Just miserable sick with sore throat, cough, runny nose and general irritability. Not sick enough to put us out of commission but just enough to be super annoying! I'm hoping that by some miracle the girls won't get it, but it seems bound to happen.

It's been a busy while since we returned from our trip. Since we got back on a Sunday night it was straight back to action in the morning. That first week was a shock to the system as both Ryan and I suffered from peeling suntans, fatigue and extreme Mexico withdrawal. Now we're back on schedule and it almost seems like a dream that we were ever there! Good things we have pictures as evidence.

Ryan has been very busy with school projects and has been occupied muchly by church things such as Elder's Quorum meeting and activities, splits and lessons with the missionaries and a missionary cottage meeting. He's also had some fun with friends seeing the new James Bond movie and playing Guitar Hero World Tour and other fun games.Ryan's been doing a lot of great singing/playing with the girls. They love when he breaks out the guitar to play for them.

I am a Twilight fan and I will readily admit it. I was hooked on the books and read them super fast. I was excited for the movie to come out and I have to say...what's not to like? It wasn't as good as the book (movies never seem to be) and some of the parts were cheesy, but I enjoyed it. A lot of people I know were critical of it, but I liked it.

I've been busy trying to get Christmas things done so that once Ryan is done school, we can just do fun family things together. I love teaching piano lessons ,even though I only have one student - she is so much fun! I got asked by my best friend Kathy to be the matron (a.k.a. "old lady"!) of honour at her wedding in August and I'm so excited! It's my first time being in a wedding party and I think it will be a great experience. I've also been occupied by Super Saturday craft days, making our 2009 family calendars on our Mac, slacking at exercise and sorting out various tenant issues in our building.

This seems to be the busiest time of year for me in my church calling - ward music chairperson. I get to organize musical numbers all through December, our ward number for the Stake Christmas concert and the program for the Christmas Sunday sacrament meeting. This can get tricky in our ward because there are a lot of students who visit family over the holiday break and so my numbers to choose from get smaller and smaller. I finally have everything figured out and all the musical numbers underway so now I just have to practice and hope for the best. It always turns out in the end.

We've attended a couple of holiday parties. The CNIB hosted a family holiday party and we met some lovely people there. Madeline had her second exposure to Santa and hated it just as much as last year - but Claire just loved it. Waving goodbye to Santa.

At our ward Christmas dinner we enjoyed some great food and had another Santa experience. I thought Madeline would be into it, but again she freaked out. She softened for a second when Santa handed her a candy cane but it was short-lived.

Claire's playing it cool for Santa. She was more interested in what was going around elsewhere. It was pretty chaotic up on the stage.

Claire's been busy with GRIT. She's getting very good at hitting her Big Mac switch so we're trying to get her to use it to communicate with us. Right now we'll put a big yellow ball on her tray and she loves to knock it off and laughs and laughs. But to get it back, she has to press her switch (we can record a short message on the switch so we set it to say "BALL"). We're trying to help her realize cause and effect and maybe start to recognize words. It's so hard to figure out how she is processing things because she doesn't always give signals that are obvious to us. It's been fun to watch her having a blast knocking the ball off the table though!

Claire will also be moving up to Primary at church in a couple weeks so she's had the chance to sit in on closing exercises. I think she will have a great experience in Primary and I hope that we can work together with the teachers to make it positive for everyone. This is another big step for our inclusive goals for her. This week I meet with her teacher from the GRIT program to plan ahead for next year when Claire will probably be attending a preschool a few times a week. I am just so scared to death about this. We will send her with her GRIT worker but I am scared to make the decision of where to send her. Do all parents get this worried or am I just too overprotective?

Madeline has been very entertaining/frustrating lately. She's started to throw tantrums which include screaming and hitting things. She's got a very strong personality but she is also very kind. She loves babies and will run over to a "baby" (even though they may be older than her!) and give them hugs and kisses. She's always taking things over to Claire and trying to share snacks with her. It warms my heart to see the girls playing together. Maddie has some awesome dances moves. She shakes her little hips anytime she hears a beat. Lately she's been getting some arm actions in too and it's so funny. Maddie's been good in nursery for the past few weeks so we hope that the clingy/crying stage is over!

We had fun out in Wetaskiwin today for Dad's birthday celebrations.

Dad & his "Happy Feet" socks
This is what happens when we try to get Madeline to smile nicely for a picture.

Claire loved Grandma and Grandpa's big tree



We had fun at the Festival of Trees - we like to attend it each year. This year we went on Saturday which was insane. I recommend going on Friday when the crowds aren't so huge. But it was still fun to see all the beautiful trees and listen to the music.

*RANT* - Our apartment building is situated behind a hotel/coffee shop/bar conglomerate which share one recycling bin out the back. The bin gets picked up everyday except on the weekends. So by the time Monday morning rolls around, the bin looks like this:Every Monday our parking lot and side yard are covered with boxes, bottles and newspaper. We've contacted the hotel probably 20 times now and they continue to say that they will look into the problem. They also blame our tenants for filling the bin with their "illegal" recycling materials, stating that they can't tell whose garbage is flying onto our property. It's not that it is hard to pick up garbage, it's just infuriating to watch them pile stuff higher and higher all weekend and hear the sound of boxes migrating into our lot all weekend and have to clean it up every Monday because we can't "prove" that the garbage in our lot comes from their bin.

As I'm typing this, I am on the phone with the Bylaw complaint line....and have been waiting on hold for 20 minutes. I find I have such a lack of faith in our community/government/civic systems that I don't even really expect any change from voicing an official complaint, but it will make me feel better.

I hate managing a lot! Except for the free rent and big apartment.

*RANT OVER*

What doesn't kill you...makes you stronger

We had an experience this week that I'd like to share. You might notice the picture of a wheelchair above and it is that one that we chose for Claire this week. We've gotten to the point where she's getting too big for her adapted seat that acts as a highchair and can be clipped into her stroller. Since it takes awhile for funding to be approved and for the order to be placed from California, we had to make the decision now about what we should do.

It was the scariest thing I've ever had to contemplate and I had to ask Ryan to take the day off of work so that I could have some moral support. I wasn't sure how emotional I would get when I saw Claire sitting in a dreaded wheelchair. I see pictures of other families getting their 3 year olds a bike for their birthday and we're getting Claire a wheelchair. It just felt so backwards and unfair! It made me feel like we were giving up and that it would change everyone's perceptions of her, that it would delay her even further, etc.

I always worry that I'm not doing enough for her or maybe if I tried harder that she would be able to do more things. I read inspirational stories about mothers who decided that their kids would never use wheelchairs and were able to walk on their own or people who prayed and had blessings and overcame their disabilities or sicknesses. I sometimes wonder why something like that hasn't happened for us and I always feel like it's some sort of lack of faith or effort on my part. All these deep and scary feelings were lurking at the surface as we drove to the hospital to look at the horrible and clinical and metal clanking ugly wheelchairs.

But you know what, those feelings weren't as intense as I expected when we placed her in the chair for the first time. We were in a very supportive setting at the Glenrose Hospital in the physiotherapy department and all around us were kids that weren't "giving up" but were learning to overcome the challenges that faced them and getting the help that they needed to do that. No one was wallowing in self-pity like I had been earlier. No one was feeling sorry for themselves or stomping around proclaiming that life isn't fair! The other kids we saw there were really an answer to my prayers because they are making the most of what they've been handed in this life.

I'm so grateful that we live in this country where people are becoming more aware and accepting of people with disabilities and where we have so many supports and agencies to help us. I know that things aren't perfect and that many people do judge or feel uncomfortable around those that are different but I'm grateful for a family that has never made Claire feel excluded. I need to work harder at getting over my own hangups and stop worrying about what other people think. Claire is Claire and we love her and there is nothing "wrong" with her - she is the way that she is meant to be and we're lucky to have her. Of course we have our bad days and I have my crying days but I have a friend who says that "You'll never stop having sad days, but they will get farther and farther apart." I just have to think of that and allow myself to have those upset days and then move past them.

Of course the chair pictured above is designed for adults so Claire's will have lots of modifications and it will be a lot smaller. It will just be another phase that we will have to accept and get used to. We will always keep working with her on standing and walking and sitting on her own. But now she'll be supported and be able to go places with other people (especially her GRIT worker in the fall).

This is a pretty long post but it was a huge moment for our family this week and I'm so proud of Claire and how well she responds to change and how much she teaches me about love and being happy.