T-minus 12 days!

Only 12 days until we move. Things are falling into place. The packing is progressing, the insurance and utilities and cable/phone are being switched, my list is getting smaller. Luckily we have a great lawyer (thanks Uncle Dave & Aunt Jeannette!) so we don't have to worry about that aspect of things. I'm getting really excited and very anxious to move. Ryan's been working long hours to help us be able to afford the house. I think we'll all be glad when he goes back to a teacher's schedule.

We've had some fun times lately. We spontaneously drove to the ACT pool for a family swim one night. It was great - they have very accessible facilities and a great change table for kids/adults with disabilities so we always feel safe going there.

Natalie went with me and the girls to the Art Walk on Whyte Ave and we also checked out the Farmer's Market. I love the atmosphere of these street festivals and fairs.

A painter on the Art Walk.


Claire really enjoyed the singers in the Gazebo park by the Farmer's Market.


I couldn't have done it without Natalie! It's so nice to have her closer now.



Before our leisure access passes expired...I will miss them...the girls and I went to the Muttart Conservatory one last time for free. Despite getting soaked on the way in, we enjoyed looking at the flowers and being in that neat environment.

On our way out of the conservatory, we found a squirrel and Madeline ran to chase it. It ran up the tree trunk and kept running to the opposite side of the tree as Madeline ran around it. She probably ran around about 10 times before the squirrel ran all the way up the tree. They were so funny to watch.


Madeline loves to push Claire and I think Claire likes it better than when I push her.


Claire amongst the cacti...cactuses...multiple pokey plants.


Maddie striking a pose.


The girls liked the waterfall in the tropical pyramid the best.



One thing for all those stay-at-home moms, I want to pass on something. You can apply for a subsidy for approved children's programs for up to $100 per month, per child. You can use them for preschool fees or classes like Gymboree. Here's a website to check out.

I got more pictures of Maddie at Gymboree. She watched a little boy jumping from the high platform onto the bouncy mat and so she jumped too. She spent most of the class running up and jumping. Here's all I could catch of it.


On the bouncy balance beam.


Rocking on the horse.



Here's Madeline's ballerina moves.


Claire really enjoys this little piano. One of our best garage sale purchases.


Maddie and Abby having fun together in their stylish hats.

Bad Day

It's been a not-good 24 hours. Last night Claire fell out of her specialized chair that we sit her up at the table with. I have no idea how she wriggled it off the chair but I just felt like the worst parent in the world. The straps are all screwed up and we've been making the best of it until she gets her new one, but it obviously wasn't secured well enough. I know that kids fall and get bruised and hurt themselves, but it just feels different when she doesn't know how to brace herself or put her arms out to break her fall - things like that just make me feel so protective of her.

The past few days I've been having a hard time waking her up in the mornings, which has made me glad that we have afternoon preschool in the fall. Today we had a music class that I was braving by myself for the first time in awhile and I barely got Claire coherent enough to take her formula with her g-tube (I don't like giving it to her when she's sleeping because sometimes when she wakes up she throws it all up). I was running around the building with a repair person trying to coordinate things before we left and Claire must have had a seizure while I was out because she was so groggy and out of it when I got back. We got ready and left for the music class - Claire had a huge poopy diaper (I find it so stressful to change her anywhere but home because she gets scared on those pull down changers and she's too big to use them anyway) then she fell asleep (which she usually does after seizures) and so I'm trying to hold her dead-weight body while chasing Madeline and helping her participate in the group. Not to mention that we got soaked on the way in and the way out.

So Claire slept almost all day. I tried my best to wake her up so I could feed her lunch, but had to do milk again. Madeline has totally got cabin fever because our apartment is crowded with boxes and she couldn't even go out on the deck because of the rain. I was trying not to be worried about Claire. I really worry that Madeline picks up on my stress and worry about Claire but I don't know how to pretend that it's not there. I know it will have to be a part of her life, like it's a part of mine.

Now she just had another seizure sitting in her chair. So four hours after she finally woke up, she's back asleep again. That means she'll probably be up at midnight or later.

Why does my sweet girl have to go through this? Why isn't the medication we're pumping her full of, work 100%? Sometimes I really wish I just had the "typical" worries of motherhood instead of these things that keep me up at night like, Will she ever say 'mom'? Will I be changing her diapers when she's 30? Will she have problems with seizures her whole life? Will she ever have a friend? Will she ever be able to take care of herself? Sometimes those worries about the future really weigh me down.

But there are many good moments too. We were at the Muttart Conservatory yesterday and a lady walked up to Claire and started talking to her - I can always tell that those type of people either have worked with people with disabilities or have had someone in their life deal with those challenges. She told me she has a son who is 33 and who has cerebral palsy - he is quite severe and is non-verbal. She was so encouraging and told me that he was in a regular classroom right through grade 12 and is now living in a facility with two other disabled adults who have 24 hour care and that he is happy and enjoying life. She told me to never hang around with parents who have given up on inclusion. She even gave me her phone number and told me to call her day or night if I needed to talk. I would have never met this lady if I hadn't been there with Claire. There is such an instant connection with other parents of kids with disabilities - even if your life situation is so different, you feel as if you know them and can trust them. There have been so many people who have helped us and I hope that maybe we've helped others to be more aware of people with disabilities.

This is addition to how many sweet moments we have with our babies. Madeline is becoming a little mother hen and I hear her saying things to Claire like "No kicking" or "Don't worry Claire" or "I love you" or "Claire's just talking" (when she's screaming). It almost makes me cry when I see them playing together - when Maddie brings Claire something or reads her a story, or when they hold hands in their car seats. I have moments when I worry about how having a sister with disabilities will affect Madeline, but I hope that it will just make her a better person who can see past those outward appearances. Helping Claire to learn and grow has been a challenge to my faith and to my physical strength and my emotional self - but hopefully I've become a better person along the way. All those huge worries don't seem so daunting when I see her smile of pure joy or when I'm holding her and she is very still for a moment and it feels like a hug. I guess it's those little things that see us all through the hard times.

I love Canada, our new house, my family, summer weather and anything else awesome

There have been a lot of "ends" the past few weeks - the end of Ryan's second school year at Campbelltown, the end of our first year in the GRIT program, our last Little Bits class, the end of piano lessons for the summer, the soon-to-be end of our apartment managing career, the end of having extra money to spend, etc. I always found the end of the school year to be so bittersweet. You're so excited to move on, but it's hard to say goodbye to those who have helped you along the way. We'll miss seeing Janelle each day!

Here's a LINK to some of the pictures of our GRIT activities with Janelle over the past 9 months!

Ryan's class had a lot of fun activities as the year came to a close. He organized a poetry slam where all the kids dressed in black and presented their poetry to each other while drinking chocolate milk (instead of hot chocolate/coffee). They had a swimming party, played soccer in the park, participated in the year end assembly and had their classroom party as well. He got spoiled by all of the kids who gave him very thoughtful gifts and cards. Now he's moved on to work for TWP for the summer months to help us pay off some debts and loans as we move into mortgage payments starting in August! He works so hard for our family!

Madeline has been enjoying Gymboree over the past several months. Unfortunately since it's quite pricey, we'll have to reevaluate our attendance as we adjust to our new financial situation. :) However, it's taught her so many things. She interacts with other kids quite well and makes choices about whether to participate in the circle time or to do her own thing. She's very adventurous and is getting so brave at trying new slides and climbing towers. It's been so fun to watch her grow. Here's a couple of pictures - they aren't very representative of what she does there but I couldn't get any other kids in the picture because of privacy reasons, etc.

Here's her ballerina moves on the balance beam.


A creative use of a ramp.


It's getting harder to catch Madeline with the camera because she's usually on to the next thing by the time it focuses. Here's a cheesy smile from her:


Like a good mother, sometimes I leave my children unattended. Madeline likes to take the cushions off the couch and jump on it - I let her because we have no yard for her to run around in. I laid Claire down on this bare naked couch for a second and she half-rolled off into this position. It was so cute.


Madeline has had some fun playdates with our neighbour Abigail. They are teaching each other lessons like "no hitting" "sharing" "no pulling hair" "no throwing sand", etc. All good life lessons that need to be learned eventually.


Random thought - money is funny - for example, for this past year we've had the Leisure Access passes from the City of Edmonton because our previous years' tax return amount was under a certain limit. So all this year we've enjoyed free admission to all city pools and places like the Valley Zoo, Fort Edmonton Park, Muttart Conservatory, etc. These expire on July 11 and we don't qualify this year. The higher your income bracket, the less benefits and other "perks" you qualify for. But since we're taxed more and now will have a mortgage, we will probably feel poorer than we were when Ryan was a student. It's all relative, isn't it? I often think back to when we were first married and we were both working and had next to no expenses - we had it good and we didn't even realize it!

Some fun activities that we've done lately have been to visit the sensory room at the Capilano School - the floor is padded and the walls are covered with lights and texture boards, there's a bubble tube in the corner and part of the floor in the corner is a waterbed. It's located in a special education classroom and the kids use it to help calm down, to stimulate learning and to enhance sensory exploration. The CNIB kids program booked the room, but we were the only ones who showed up so we had it all to ourselves. It was fun.

Claire also became a movie star. Earlier in the year an occupational therapy instructor came over and made a video with Claire to demonstrate proper feeding techniques. She came over again to make a video of how far Claire has come over the year so she could show her students who viewed the earlier video. Yay Claire!

Zara finished her piano year off well and did a great recital. Hopefully next year I'll be able to get some more students so they can all hear each other play!

We had a fun spontaneous FHE one night. We were going to go to the zoo for a little while but we got stuck in traffic and got there when there was only half an hour until it closed. So we took a detour to the river and climbed down to the shore and threw rocks into the water, met a family of ducks and then had fun at the park. It was great.











Claire had a great Primary activity (Madeline was at Gymboree with Dad!). The kids met at the temple in their Sunday dress and had a lesson from the temple President and Matron on the grounds of the temple. Then they all had their pictures taken (which are now posted in the Primary room) and enjoyed freezies on the lawn of the Stake Centre. It was fun!










I got to throw my friend Kathy Dick a bridal shower out in St. Albert. It was lots of fun - I took all the pictures on her camera so she could have them....so no pictures but she did really well on the games. I had asked Peter questions about himself and she had her answers compared to his - most of the married women in the room didn't think they could have done as well. The food that everyone brought was great, the trip to Japanese Village was fun and very enjoyable and it was great to spend some time talking at Alyssa's cute house. I also had the privilege of chauffeuring 5 of the ladies (yelling out the windows and spraying people with water guns!!) over to Cook Country Salon before I took my leave. :)

A great lady in our ward always organizes a park group for the summer where we all meet once a week at a different part in our area so the kids can play together. Ryan got to come to the first one because he hadn't started summer work yet and we had lots of fun before it started to rain.





I got to help with a missionary zone conference lunch and I've been playing the piano fairly often in sacrament meeting - I need to learn to play the organ because I really don't feel comfortable doing it! I've also been busy gathering boxes and packing supplies and our living room is already 1/3 full of packed boxes. I wish we could just go right now, but I also am glad we have a few weeks left so I can get everything done!

Canada Day was awesome, as usual. It's one of my favourite days. It was better this year because Ryan was actually home! He's usually landscaping by that time of year. We all slept in and had a good breakfast before heading out for the Silly Summer Parade on Whyte Ave with our friends. After the parade we walked over to Queen Alexandra park for a picnic, playing at the park, parachute games and jumpy castles. After nap time we went downstairs to Natalie and Melanie's new apartment in the building to help move some things and then to celebrate Stephanie's birthday. It was lots of fun! We skipped out on fireworks this year due to sleepiness, but they actually woke Claire up since we're only a few blocks from the river valley. A couple of them even shook our building they were so loud. We're excited to check out the festivities in Millwoods next year - I hear they are very good!

Ryan staked out a good spot for us to watch the parade in the shade.


Claire was all decked out in patriotic gear complete with pinwheel.



Madeline kept saying "I love Canada!" because that's what her shirt said. They gave out little flags at the picnic and whenever she's looking for it now she says, "Where's my O Canada?"



The Jensens (Eva, Jeff and Beatrix) and us waiting for the parade to start.


How come they're not throwing candy mama? (like the Pioneer Days parade in Wetaskiwin)


Ryan recognized his fellow grade 5 teacher Micha and her husband riding in the parade. Apparently they have biked for very long distances using this double bike. It was fun to see them!


I have to post this, even though Ryan's eyes are closed, because it's the only picture of all of us!


One of my favourite entries in the parade - the Vegan and Vegetarians of Alberta. Hilarious. Don't they know vegetables have feelings too? Just ask the Arrogant Worms



Madeline's favourite at the picnic was the bouncy houses. Since the line was so long for the big kid ones, she stayed in this tiny one for most of the time.


Here's Dad putting a sleeper hold on Claire at the picnic.


Madeline was tired on the way home so she hitched a ride with Claire.


Auntie Stephanie painted Madeline's finger and toe nails to get ready for the party!


The girls love cuddling with Grandma.


One last funny picture from today:

This is what happens when you have church from 1-4pm and have to skip naps - falling asleep at suppertime.